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A Letter to Nightbirde

Dear Jane,

Pain. If there is a faster path to heaven, let me know when you find it. For now, I suppose that we’re on it together.

Four years ago I found myself on America’s Got Talent, my dad was dying of cancer, and I felt like giving up on a lot more than just the show. The pain was the only thing that outweighed the fear. It hurt so badly to watch him fight so hard, just to see him lose a little more each day. It was enough to make even the biggest stage in the world feel meaningless. I can’t congratulate you enough for having pushed so far.

I think we both know that all of this is so much more than a talent show. The music is so much more than the hits. The pain is so much more than a story.  There’s a grand purpose to so much pain, and my dad knew it. He always told me, “men are that they might have joy.” In other words, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

So, we sing on TV. We sing to ourselves. We sing to God, and know that He hears through the off-notes, and the sloppy prose. I couldn’t help but smile at “It’s OK”. It brought me face to face with my 13 year old self, writing “Okay Day”. Although I hadn’t had an okay day in a long time, I knew that if I sang it anyways it might just come true. My dad taught me that. He was right.

I hope that this letter finds you well. I hope that everyone can find as much strength in your story as I do. You’re never alone.

-Evie Clair